Okay, its been about three weeks now. The honeymoon is over, I have two feet on the ground, life is rolling along. It has been so good to be back in Holland. It hasn't been all sunshine and tulips, but its been good. From being at church and seeing everyone to sitting alone in the flat where I am staying, its been good. Where I was feeling unsettled this summer, I feel settled here. Where I didn't feel like I had a clear purpose back home, I can see my purpose here. Now, its not just Holland or Europe. It's the fact that I have a job here. There is a need I can help with, there is a vision I can help make reality. It has always felt good to roll up my sleeves and jump in to build something, whether its a house with my dad or a vision with some missionaries in Europe. It feels good to be working toward a goal.
People have been asking if I feel different this time, because its for two years and not six months. I do, I feel more at home. I know that its only been three weeks and I even I am not that naive to think that I won't have my days in the future where I wish I was back in Minnesota, but I love it here. I have been trying to picture what my life will be like in two years, how different it will be. Two years will go fast, but at the same time a lot will happen, ups, downs, lefts, rights, its hard to picture myself in two years. Right now though, I feel very settled, I feel as though God wants me here. I think I have made the right decision and there is no regret.
I live in the center of town and its amazing. For a boy from Minnesota (88% white), being here is a real treat. I walk out of the building where I live and in 50 steps I am in the middle of town. I walk to work and I hear dutch, english, arabic, spanish, italian, russian, chinese and papiamento (shout out for Caroline and Johnny). I see people walking around from all over the world. There are men in top of the line business suits and three steps away a homeless guy. Moroccans and Koreans, there all here and they are all literally right out my front step. Not to idealize this too much, but for me, I love it. I view it as a taste of heaven, every tongue, tribe and nation, together. I have to be honest I love it, but it still shocks me every time I walk out on the street. I am just not used to such diversity, I love it, its almost like a dream everyday. I can't believe I am here. I can't believe this is happening.
This past week I have started to sit down and try to create my life. For the first time in a long time I get to design my life. Yes, I have a job and I have work to do, but my work is not all consuming, I HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE NOW. School was so all consuming all the time. I am asking the questions what do I want my life to be? What do I want my weeks to look like? I am very excited to do this. I can't wait to look back in two years and see what has happened. What a journey it will be.
Thanks for reading,
Jason
p.s. I changed things up a little on my blog. If you would like to receive my prayer email please let me know, jascut@me.com.
