2 Weeks ago...

The past couple of weeks have been a real whirlwind. I have gone from The Hague to Madrid, Madrid to The Hague, then to Manchester, then back to The Hague, now to Kirchheim (Hessen) Germany. Wow, That is a full two weeks, and I loved every minute of it...well, most minutes.

Madrid was a great trip. Neither Cecily nor I had ever been there and I have wanted to go for a long time. We stayed with my friend Amy (http://www.christianassociates.org/Our-Staff/amy-swacina.html)who works with Oasis Madrid (http://www.christianassociates.org/Europe/oasis-madrid.html) a CA church plant. We also met up with April and Kelly Crull who work with (http://www.spaindad.com/) another CA church plant. We had a great time with all of them and we enjoyed touring around Madrid for a couple days as well. For me it is always helpful to see our church planters in their context, with my job it helps me understand their challenges better and helps me to get an image of how I can support them from my desk. Also, they are just great people and I love hanging out with them and swapping stories.

When we returned to The Hague, I had a sermon to preach(http://www.crossroadschurch.nl/messages). I had been working on it, but the next couple of days were dedicated to this effort. I spoke on Psalm 23 and enjoyed the talk very much, which may sound conceded, but its not. I felt as though God spoke to me through the words of David and in this time of my life where there are so many changes and uncertainties. The words of Psalm 23 have been a real comfort to me. Also, I feel as though my comfort with public speaking is growing, I still get incredibly nervous and anxious, but less so that when I started a year ago.

After I spoke on Sunday, Cecily and I went shopping for a suit for our wedding. I am hoping to buy a nice European black suit to strut down the isle in. This way it will be less like beauty and beast and more like beauty and the well dressed beast. After that I got on Skype to talk with my cousin Andy and his fiancee Jill. The week after I return from Germany I am heading off to Minnesota where I will have the pleasure of officiating Andy and Jill's wedding. I am so excited to do this I can't wait. But it did make for a very full Sunday.

Manchester England was a trip to connect with two people, Richard and Nick. Nick is one of our European Board members and Richard is a data protection Lawyer who is going to be helping us out with some legal advice, not counsel, advice, so then we can't sue anyone...haha, just kidding. Unfortunately, Richard had an emergency at work so didn't get to spend the days with us, but we all managed to make it down to the local pub for Quiz night, where we promptly won the losers trophy and were recognized as “the americans who have come to save us.” It was all in good fun and we had a great time.

The other highlights from England were our trips to the Lake district and a day in Wales. Wales was a beautiful drive, we saw an old half finished castle and then went to a very strange place. I forget the name, but it was a Mediterranean type city right in the middle of wales, it was kitsch and it was so weird. The Lake district on the other hand was simply Brilliant (as the english say). We climbed a 1200 foot mountain and over looked valleys, lakes, waterfalls and amazing green and brown pastures it was a truly spectacular hike.

When we got back from the hike, Cecily and I got on Skype and talked with a very nice man who agreed to rent his apartment to us for one year. We were both amazing and very relieved, in our own ways. Cecily shows this by bouncing all over the room, smiling, telling everyone, laughing, kissing, hugging, expressing joy wherever she goes. I usually say, “this is great.” smile once, maybe twice then move on to the next issue. We are a great couple!!

This was a big deal, our budget for an apartment in Arlington, VA was $1,000 per month, which most people laughed at us. When I started looking at apartments I realized why they laughed. We were looking at 1 bedrooms and studio apartments for $1200 - $1500. This was just too much for our budget and both of us were getting pretty nervous, but we just prayed and as Cecily's parents graciously kept look at apartment after apartment for us, they found this place. We got a 2 bedroom, kitchen, living room, full-bathroom, located ¾ mile from Cecily's school (so we don't have to use the car and save some $$$), we got all this for $975.00 a month!! It was a real miracle and both of us knew it. We had been looking for apartments for 2 months, Cecily's parents had been looking for 2 months, there are no apartments in Arlington for $975.00 per month, certainly not any 2 bedrooms, but sure enough Cecily will be moving into one on August 26th. Praise God.

This past month has been really special. We have been able to travel a lot and we will always cherish those memories and the friends we have. Yesterday we said good bye to our time in The Hague together. Cecily is moving back to D.C. To start school and I will be in The Hague till mid November. This chapter in our life is coming to a close and a new chapter is rapidly approaching. As quickly as you can turn a page we will be married and living in D.C. I can't wait!

Blessings to you all,
Jason

Psalm 23

Here is a link to my last sermon on Psalm 23. This is a reflection on Psalm 23 and is meant to help people learn how to pray through the Psalms. In this Sermon I try to unpack the depth of Psalm 23 and allow space for God to speak to us today through David's words.

I would love to hear feedback and interaction about this sermon or other Psalm experiences.

Thanks,
Jason

The Last week

July 10, 2010

Ok, I am back at it or at least trying. I had coffee with a friend of mine today and we were both commenting about how much writing takes out of us. I don't know if I am strange in this regard, but really, I have wanted to be updating my blog for the past year, but when it came down to it I never had the energy. Well, today I do. I think having some things in my life getting settled, with lots of others still up in the air, unknown. Whatever the reason, I am going to blog again today.

I have toyed around with different structures and styles of blogging and I think for me, the best is doing one week at a time. So here goes. My week.

We started off the week with our nations independence day. This is not the first, nor will it probably be the last time I celebrated the 4th of july outside of the U.S. This year, Cecily (my fiancee) and I celebrated by relaxing. We had thrown a big engagment party the night before and we just relaxed all day Sunday. We had lunch with some friends, went back and each took naps. Then we headed off to the beach to visit another friend and catch the sunset. It was a nice end to a very relaxing day.

Monday we had small group, as we do every week, this week it was at a couple's flat that is new to our group, they are from Liverpool and have the great Liverpool accents. Our small group has been breathed into with new life in the recent month. We have added 5 new people, 2 couples and 1 single. I love our group all the more. We have always had a transitional group, but through that the coming and going, the spirit of the group has remained, open, honest and supportive. We have good discussions about the Bible, faith, theology, our lives and then we always come around each other in prayer to end the evening. It really is a special time and one that is a lift to myself.

Tuesday we had the third of our four premarital counseling appointments. This one was a bit more intense than the other two, mainly because we went through the Premarital inventory that we each filled out. Question by question we went through our strengths as a couple, and our weaknesses, we went through our personal triumphs and failures. Even though Cecily and I had discussed most of these things before, I realized we had not discussed them in quite a while and I think some things that were starting to get buried have been dug up, thankfully, but now we need to keep working on them, and celebrating them as well. Needless to say, this was a draining meeting for both of us. Thankfully though Holland beat Uruguay that evening and all was good...wink*

Actually, we were both tired, and Cecily left on Wednesday for Poland for 4 days. The time apart has not been easy, but I am always a fan of time apart, with in reason. I miss her terribly, but both of us have had time to think and pray. Even though we talk on the phone a couple times a day, the separation is good.

While Cecily is in Poland living the dream, I am back here in The Hague. To celebrate my bachelorhood for a couple days I decided to eat some bad spinach and get food poisoning. Yes, this was not a good idea, but I did it anyway, and I paid for it dearly. I do not like getting sick and stomach sickness is the worst for me. Thursday I was sick all day, but I toughed it out till about 5pm, then I had had enough, and gave up, cancelled my evening appointments and just rested. Something I probably should have done at the beginning of the day, but if I did that then I wouldn't be stubborn now would I?

Friday I felt much better, but still was really weak, not have eaten anything for 24 hours. I spend the day getting my strength back. And what a better way to spend your time when sick, than watching movies. I watched two really thought provoking movies, “Unthinkable” (which you better have a strong stomach to watch) and “The Good Shepard” (no, not the one with Matt Damon, but the one with Christian Slater). “Unthinkable” was a movie that addressed a specific ethical question, basically, if millions of people's lives are at stake, it is ok to do anything to save them? Good question. “The Good Shephard” was about a priest who through a series of regrettable events re-discovers why he became a priest. Both of these movies cause me to think personally in very different ways.

The first was about the nature of truth, belief, and knowledge. Wrestling with what I know to be true, with what others know to be true, and how the relates, does it relate, yes the wonderful abstract questions of life. Is there a God? Well, there is and I believe I know who God is, and I believe that God is truth. I guess that settles that...

The second movie caused me to think back to the beginning of Seminary. Why did I go to Seminary, why have I become a Missionary? Where is my ministry going? What does God want me to do? I wrote down two questions in my notebook: 1) What is my fear? 2) Where is my doubt? I think with all the has gone on in the past 9 months, I have not been examining myself in certain areas. Along with writing I have not had a lot of energy to do lots of things I want to. Not that I regret moving to the Netherlands, or getting engaged or working through personal problems, but I severely underestimated their toll on me. So, like more people out of seminary I ran into the mission field with guns-a-blazing, only to be pulled down to earth very quickly.

Unlike the character of Christian Slater, I haven't had a series of regrettable events to wake me up. I have had tough times, be sure of that, but for me, the good things have drained me. I think for me this has always been something I struggled with. I expect the bad then good happens and I have such a hard time excepting it. Don't get me wrong I except it and deal with it. This is not a cry for sympathy or pity. I have had a great life, hands down. My question is why can't I except that fact, what is it that is keeping me from entering into the good things without hesitation?

Next Steps...

Hello everyone,

I have had a very exciting and life changing spring. I am engaged! On April 25th I asked Cecily Hutton to marry me and she said, “YES!!!” and then she cried, haha. I hope that is a good sign. We are both very excited and have appreciated all the prayers and support you have given us. With this engagement comes many changes. I will be married, which as most of you know will change both our lives completely. I will be moving to Washington D.C. this December. This will be a year short of my two year commitment to C.A. in Europe. Before I get into the logistics of all this, please know that this decision to get married and move to D.C. came with much prayer and discussion, and it was not entered into lightly. We both have peace about making this next step in our relationships and we both have peace about moving to D.C. for the next two years of our lives.

What does this mean for me and Christian Associates? I am pursuing a position with C.A. on our U.S. Operations Team. I would like to remain with C.A. My boss Dudley has known about the possibility of me moving back early for a couple months and he is very excited to help find a place for me on the U.S. Operations staff. I hope to have a position detailed out by August of this year.

What does this mean for all of you? For all my supporters I want to thank you for the money, prayers, and encouragement you have given me over the past couple years; from when I started my journey with C.A. through the present and hopefully continuing into the future.

What am I leaving behind? While I have been in Europe these past nine months, we have been able to accomplish most of what I had planned to accomplish in two years. We have cleaned up our Europe office and made it paperless. This means our office can be operated by laptop and is not confined to a rented office space. We have cut operations cost, which allows us as an organization to put more money into our church planting, and we have been able to hire more support staff, which will allow us to recruit, train, and support more church planters. The last task to wrap up my time is to find a replacement for my position. I have been praying from the start that God would raise up a European to replace me. I ask you to join with me in this prayer. My position is at a place where it can be performed from anywhere in Europe and that opens the door to many more people who could do this job. I am able to move back to the U.S. knowing that God has done good work here and that I am leaving C.A. Europe operations in a better state than when I arrived.

What is ahead for Cecily and me? We are planning to get married December 30, 2010 in Washington D.C. Cecily is starting graduate school this fall at George Mason University in the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution program. She will be pursuing a degree in Conflict resolution and social development. We will be living in Arlington, VA for the next two years. After that time we are both open to the plans God has in store for us.

When I look back on the last year, I can't help but shake my head. I can't believe I am in Europe, I can't believe I am getting married, and now I can't believe I am leaving Europe. I truly feel as though I am on a journey in which God is leading me. I would never have envisioned this path for myself. I am excited about what is next for Cecily and me in our lives and ministry. I hope and pray that you will continue to join us in this journey.

Tot Ziens (Dutch way to say good-bye)
Jason Cutshall

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I am Engaged!!!

Yes, it actually happened I got Engaged!!!!