24 hours:
My day of departure started early, meeting my parents for breakfast at the Original Pancake house in Eden Prairie, MN. We had a very nice last meal: we ate, we prayed, we cried, it was lots of fun. One thing struck me in particular at breakfast. I started realizing this move was going to be hard. I think it was seeing my mother cry and not knowing why. She was not just sad to see me go, there was a deeper element there. I realized it as well. This was not like last year when I left for my internship. Even though I will be home for Christmas in two months, this was harder. As I thought more about why, I began to realize that this is the first time I am leaving Minnesota as a home and not knowing if or when I will return. That was it. I know that this move is good and that God is in it, but it is still hard to leave your home and not know if you will ever move back.
I mulled this thought over the rest of the morning and spoke with my mother about it as well. We hugged and she cried, but I assured her that no matter where I am in the world Minnesota will always be my home. The day pressed on and as I finished some last minute packing and I became increasingly more stressed about everything I faced: my flight, customs, my shipment of books, clothes, etc. I knew I was entering a period where I couldn't fully trust what I was feeling. I had to gut it out and go and not look back.
As my brother and mother drove me to the airport, I was actively trying not to think about any of it. I was trying to clear my head and pray for trust in God. We got to the airport and said our good-byes through my mothers tears. I left them, went into the airport, checked in and headed to the gate. I was flying from Minneapolis to Chicago to Dublin to Amsterdam. I knew it would be a long flight, but that is not what worried me. What worried me was having a one-way ticket. Countries typically don't like to let people in who don't have a Visa to live there and don't have a return ticket. I had neither of those things. On top of this from Chicago to Dublin to Amsterdam I was flying Aer Lingus, and who has ever heard of Aer Lingus outside of Ireland? I had not. Well, I was preparing for a long uncomfortable flight and lots of trouble at the customs desk.
Thankfully, this was not what God had in mind. The flight to Dublin was half full, which meant I had two seats all to myself, and I discovered if the Irish are one thing it is laid back, charming and fun. Hearing laughter and the sweet Irish accent for six hours was more relaxing than anything. Although, I did get a funny look from the flight attendant when I didn't order a whiskey with my meal, haha.
I landed in Dublin and some of the stress was now over . My experience with Aer Lingus had been restful and relaxing, God had provided for me. Now to face the real stress: the Dutch. The Dutch are all about rules and regulations. The whole country runs “by the book” and frankly that is one thing I like about living here, you know what to expect all the time. The problem is when you are not by the book, which I was not on this particular occasion. I was flying in with no return ticket and no resident visa. As we lifted off from Dublin this fear and anxiety gripped me. I started thinking, “What am I doing?” “Why am I moving to Europe?” “What have I left behind?” It wasn't sheer panic, but it was close, and again, I gutted it. I was on the plane and at that point the only other recourse would be jumping out, which I was less thrilled to do. Instead I turned to my usual coping strategy to relieve stress and fell asleep.
I was awakened by the flight attendant as we were preparing to land. I looked out the window and saw the cloudy, lush, wet Dutch landscape, and suddenly all the fears and anxiety I had experienced were whisked away in a moment and I was filled with peace and joy. I was at peace, I knew this was right, I knew this is what God had for me and this is what I wanted. It was a great feeling. I got off the plane and, maybe it was because I was so tired, but I felt like I was walking on a cloud. I headed off to Passport Control and got in line, the whole time thinking, “Okay, God, if you want me here this is your chance.” I walked up to the agent and handed him my passport, and he asked, “Business?” “No,” I responded, “I am moving here.” He looked at me, said, “Do you have a Visa?” I said, “No, I am applying for one.” At this point I fully expected to be brought into a room and interrogated about every aspect of my work, life, financial records, personal relationships, everything, but no, not this time. The agent looked at me, shrugged his shoulders, handed me my stamped passport and waved me on. I couldn't believe it, not only was this easy, but this was the fastest I had ever made it through passport control ever in Holland. God had provided a second time.
As I walked through the halls on my way to get my bag, I started thinking. Is Cecile going to be there? Cecile is a woman from Crossroads Church who was going to pick me up and drive me to The Hague. I hadn't been in contact with her for a couple days and was wondering if she would find me, if there would be anyone there. Again, I was preparing for the worst. I found my bag and headed out of the baggage claim to the main hall. As I walked through the sliding doors, I heard a loud, “Jason!! Welcome back!!” There were about eight people from our church there to greet me. They had made a sign, they had balloons and were taking pictures. I can't say how nice and encouraging it was to see these friends of mine whom I had missed all summer long. It was more than I could have imagined or hoped for. We caught up briefly, hugged and took some more pictures. I was really glowing now.
But the surprises were not done there. I got into the car with Cecile and Miriam and we started driving to The Hague, and after about fifteen minutes Cecile placed a box in my lap. I said, “What is this?” She said, “Open it.” I did and saw that it was an iPhone. I have wanted one since they came out three years ago, but I could never afford one. Now I had one sitting in my lap and it was free. I thanked Cecile and she said it was no problem, she got it from work from someone who had given it to her. This was a new level of kindness. Up to this point the provision that I had received was necessary: getting through customs, surviving my flight, the welcome was needed for my spirits but this, an iPhone this was just God saying, “I love you.” I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. This was a true gift, something I didn't need but wanted. It made me so happy to see that God cared about something so small and unnecessary.
At this point if my day had been over and nothing else good happened I would have been amazed, but this wasn't even close to the end. Cecile drove me to the apartment where I would be spending at least the next year. We walked in the front door and I said, “Wow.” The main floor was amazing, but then we went up to my level, yes level. Russell, who owns the apartment, had given me the top floor of this three level apartment. I had floor to ceiling windows, a balcony, a T.V., couch and Cecile and a friend of hers had gone out and bought me a bed and closet at IKEA. I could not believe it. My room overlooks most of the city and is located right in the city center. I was just amazed. I couldn't believe that this is where I would be living for the next year.
At this point Cecile and I ran some errands, going to the bank, getting groceries, going to IKEA again, and then headed back to the apartment. By this time Russell had come home and I had a chance to meet him. Russell is a great guy, very generous and lots of fun. We were talking and he shared with me how he wanted to share what he had with God. I told him? He told me? that when I lay my head down on the pillow at night and look up and see the cross on the wall, that I should remember that God is working here. I was so thankful to have a such a great place, and such a Godly man to share it with. I really appreciated meeting Russell.
By this time I was exhausted and ready for bed. As I laid lay down in my new bed, in my new apartment, I felt an incredible sense of peace and gratefulness. I could not believe everything that had happened.
The next day, I woke up and decided to go into the office to check things out and say hi to everyone. I grabbed my iPhone, threw on some tunes and headed out. As I was walking to work I was thinking about some things that Russell had said about his own conversion to Christ. Russell spoke about his journey as one that started with looking for God, then amazingly finding God in Christ, and then realizing that you need to put Jesus at the center of your life. To just know about Christ is not enough. I was reflecting on how difficult it can be to put Jesus at the center of your life. The challenge is giving up the control of your life and handing it over to Jesus. From there my thoughts traveled to thinking about what God wants me to do here. I know I have a job and I am volunteering in a church, but I was pondering how I am to build God's kingdom in my personal life. I thought about this and had a strange sense of peace about it. It will come.
I got to the office and met Jess, our office manager, at the door, and she showed me around the new office. Everything was different from when I’d left in May, but it was good to be back. I saw a couple of the other pastors and then went into my office and started catching up on some emails. After about ten minutes my internet went out and I couldn't get it up and running again. As I was scrambling to get my email to work the door bell rang. I answered it. It was a man maybe in his, 40s who walked in. I said, hello and asked if there was anything I could do for him. He said, “are you open?” I said yes and he came in. We ended up talking for about an hour or so. He, Loren was his name, told me about his journey to The Netherlands back in 1991. He told me about how he started searching for God after his daughter was born with mental and physical disabilities. He told me that when his seven year old son was diagnosed with cancer he started looking more intently. I sat and listened, but felt God very present.
When Loren entered the office, I had a strong feeling about him. I felt God's presence in the room and kept thinking that I was to ask him to accept Christ. As we talked I looked for an opportunity to ask. Finally, at one point I asked Loren, “So, where are you?” thinking that this would get the conversation moving toward what he believed. But Loren said, “Well, I want to be born again, but I don't know all the formalities.” I paused, was quietly shocked and then said, “I can help you with that.” I talked to Loren about how to make Jesus the center of his life. All you have to do is ask, there is no magic formula, no chant, no dance. I told him God was a relational God and desires to be in relationship with him. Then Loren prayed and accepted Christ.
To be honest I have only “led” one person to Christ in my whole life. I have heard of conversions and prayed for people intently who had become Christians, but this was the second person that I had the pleasure of introducing to Jesus. Loren and I agreed to meet up and continue to talk about Jesus and everything that he brings. Loren said he was going to be at church with his family that Sunday, so I told him I would meet him there and welcome him to our church.
After Loren left, I was absolutely energized. I immediately went and told the story to Scot our worship pastor, then to Caroline our youth pastor, then I sat in my office and literally was beside myself. I could not believe what had just happened, from the somber breakfast with my parents back in Minnesota 24 hours earlier to leading Loren to Christ in The Hague. I was overjoyed, but also in complete shock. I remembered a lesson I had learned earlier that summer on a road trip. I had learned that I was limiting what God could do to me by not stepping out in a way where God had to show up. Well I had been praying that I would no longer hinder what God could do to me. This was it, the last 24 hours, I had not lifted a finger and I arrived safely in Holland, to a big welcome. I was living in an unbelievable apartment owned by a strong Christian man. I had an iPhone and now, someone had come to know Christ through me. All I did was show up. Still as I write this letter, I can't believe my own story. I am shocked. It is awe-inspiring to know what God has done. I am also so encouraged and hopeful to see what God will do.
I want to thank you all for your prayers, support and encouragement, they paid off. All I ask is that you don't stop now. Things happen when you pray and step into where God is leading you. Don't stop, keep praying, pray for bigger dreams, pray more boldly knowing God answers our requests, and pray knowing God loves each and everyone of you so very much.
Thank you all,
Jason
P.S. If you can, please pray for Loren as he journey's on his new found faith.
