Surrounded By Lights

25 February 2009

Tack! Hej Hej,

Well, I am on a train in Sweden, heading from my relatives house in Huskvarna to my friends house in Stockholm. It is a bit surreal updating my blog from a train in the middle of Sweden, go figure. This past week has been great. My time in the office was cut short by my trip to Sweden and by coaching in Amsterdam. Where to start?

I will begin by talking about coaching last week. I went up to Amsterdam early to see my Basketball boys perform in a play. It was big time, they were telling the story of some Greek Fables and did us all proud. Due to the play and the fact that I was alone this week, the guys were particularly wild. I tried to keep the day as fun as possible, but they were really out of control at times, so I had to enforce a little, mainly by making them do push-ups and running laps around the gym. They had had a good day being actors so I figured I would cut them some slack and let them be kids for a day. It was a fun, wild time. Needless to say we didn’t work on any new plays or any big life lessons, other than the lesson that sometime you just need to be a little wild.

After Basketball I had a good dinner with Kevin and Kathy Johnson, they made Chipolte Burrito’s and got them pretty close I might say. The next morning I went to Schiphol and then off to Sweden. The next three days were very intense. I along with 3 other Theologians was meeting with the CAI church plant located in Angered, Sweden. We were there to help this little church plant think through what they were doing in theological terms. It was a deep and powerful weekend. We asked a lot of hard questions and had some really good discussions as well.

For me, it forced me to ask deep questions about what I am doing. The point of this weekend was to help build up the work they were doing by connecting it to theological truths. I couldn’t help but ask these questions of my own work and goals and had some good time of reflection and development of questions. It was an enjoyable time, but also very draining, thinking is a lot of work, so I try not to do it too often…haha.

After the weekend I moved in with my relatives in Fiskeback, near Gothenburg and spent the next two days there with them. It was a good time to relax, catch up on reading and go for a nice walk. Today I left Gothenburg at 8am and then spent the day in Huskvarna with some more of our relatives. This trip has been great on many levels. First, working with the church plant in Angered gave me a first hand look at what it is too set up a church in a foreign context and, some would argue, a context that didn’t necessarily want them their. I say the hope in God and the belief that Christ will do a great work there; I shared this hope and prayer with these friends.

The other part that I always cherish is seeing my relatives, distant relatives (we are related through my grandmother’s cousin), but even though we are thousands of miles apart and language is a major issue, we still share a common faith. They are such a blessing to me whenever I visit and I know that we bless them just the same. It is amazing that I have relatives around the world that love Christ and that we truly, share fellowship with. I have a hard time expressing the gratitude I have for them and the thanks I would like to extent to them for the blessing they are to me and my family. It is so humbling to be associated with such great people.

That said, I am headed to Stockholm to share some time with another couple who are friends of mine. I am going there to help them move and spend a nice weekend together. Again, they are truly great friends of mine. I can’t wait to celebrate their new baby girl and help them move into a new home as well, it will be a great weekend.

If you could tell, I am overwhelmed with gratitude right now, and with good reason, I am in a foreign country and yet am still surrounded by friends and family that love and care for me. Really, it is so amazing to me to have such a network of people around the world, ok, you get the point.

This week hasn’t been a break from the hard questions looming in my near future, but it was reassurances that I am well supported by people that love me and are pray for the best to come about in my life.

Looking ahead in a week I will be headed to the CAI Leadership Summit, this will be a very important weekend for me in figuring out the next steps in my role with CAI and that leads to my prayer requests:

Pray for my future, where to go, what to do. God is nudging me, but it is not toward an answer it is more toward spending some significant time in prayer with him. This is one of those times where I need to seek God.
Pray for my relative in Huskvarna, I learned today that his cancer has returned, pray for his healing and peace in his life. I was very sad to hear this hard news.
Pray for the church in Angered (H2O that is the name), pray that God would lead them to serve the people in Angered in a way that makes them see Jesus. Pray also that I would see how I can best support the work they are doing.
Pray for Crossroads church that God would continue to work in the believers that. Pray that God would rise up leaders to go out and start new ministries in Den Haag and around Netherlands.

Thank you all again, for your prayers and support, I am hopeful and excited about the future. I am also learning that typing on a moving train makes me car sick, so I am going to stop typing before I throw up! Take care and many greetings to you all.

Jason Cutshall

Conversations

Hello all,

Well, this past week was more like normal. No trips to ole’ England, no crazy occurrences, no new challenges to face, just a normal week…or was it, actually it was, I just like adding the effect.

This past week started off pretty normal, we had our staff meeting, which is always a lot of fun to hear about what is going on in all the different parts of the church. Then I headed up to Amsterdam. When I got up to Amsterdam then the week took off. I had a couple very good conversations in relation to a role with CAI. I had a very good time brainstorming different options and helping to clarify how my passions can line up with what CAI is doing in the coming years. I was very encouraged by these couple of processing talks.

In a way last week was the week of big conversations. I am closing in on the end of my internship and most of my energy is being focused on helping to leave well and also, planning for my return to Europe. I think I had 5 significant conversations with CAI leaders that have helped me to get a clearer picture of the needs within CAI and also, how I can help meet those needs in the coming years. This past week was a big encouragement in relation to my future here in Europe.

Now to Basketball, the boys are improving every week now, they are getting it! But still they are a long way from being able to play in a game and be competitive and last week was a reminder to them of that. At the end of practice we played a full-court scrimmage and they were unable to put into practice the things we had worked on. This was a blessing in disguise because all the kids were able to see how the things we have been drilling on are all parts of the game. We were also able to clarify, that one person is not able to guard an entire team by himself.

Heim, a 9 year old originally from Israel, was guarding Kelton in our scrimmage. Kelton scored all 9 of his team’s points. After we were talking a little bit about defense and Heim asked, why can’t one person just guard the whole team? Well Heim, I said, who were you guarding, Kelton, he replied, and how many points did Kelton score? 9, he said. I asked why did he score 9 points, Heim, shrugged his shoulders, and then said, because I was chasing the ball around. I said, “YES!!” It was a simple lesson, but a very important one to learn. What Heim learned last week was; team work. Everyone plays a role and everyone joins in the victory or loss, but you do it together.

With the past week and all the conversations the point for me is figuring out how I fit in to the CAI team. It is a very exciting time for me and I am looking forward the future and how I can help the ministry here in Europe.

On a more somber note, I found out that Warren Walleen died this past weekend. Most of you probably don’t know who Warren is or was, but Warren was the grandfather of two of my closest friends and a very close friend of our family. I can’t speak enough kind words about Warren, he was a kind, generous, caring man, who taught me a lot by his example and covered me with his prayers. I know that I will miss him dearly and I pray for my friends’ the Johnsons, the Reike’s, and of course his lovely wife Jackie. I can say with great gratitude that I am a better man because I knew Warren Walleen.

Thank you all,
Jason Cutshall

Prayer Requests:
1) Pray for peace – the next couple of months will be very full with travel, big decisions, and big events. I will need peace throughout this time and discipline to take time with God everyday.
2) Money – Pray that God would provide for me, my family, and my friends. I want to be a good steward of what God has given me and I also know that times are tough and money is an issue for many people, me included.
3) Pray for a Coach – I need that person who can see my life from the sideline and help give advice on what I am doing well and what I need to work on, right now Kevin Johnson is doing a great job of that, but as I move into a new role in the coming months I will need a new coach in life and career.
4) Emotions – Due to some significant events that have taken place back in Minnesota (father’s birthday, sister’s engagement, Warren’s death, and others) I am getting struck with a bit of homesickness, pray that God would help me to not ignore this, but to engage and figure out how to work through these events emotionally, even though I am 4,000 miles away. There are lots of good things happening in The Hague as well and this is part of the job, but not an easy part by any means.
5) Pray for Crossroads Church – that the ministry would continue to go forth and that God would give a clear vision for the future and open new doors for this congregation.

Ah, a rest...

Hello to my faithful readers…I have been getting a lot of good response about my blog so I thought I would acknowledge those of you who read my musing each week.

This past weekend I was in Hale, England, visiting my friend Richard. On Sunday before I left we went to Richard’s church and during the worship time we sang the song, “Everything” by Tim Hughes. I was reading the lyrics and at first I found them quite tedious and repetitive, but then it hit me. Tim Hughes in this song was building a need in us, by creating a list of seemingly monotonous list of everyday emotions, activities, and thoughts in the first part of the song, he in a way opened me up. By listing, the monotonous things of life, sleeping, waking, eating, working, breathing, the instinctual things of life. Which I give no thought to, Tim Hughes created tension in me.

The second half of the song is us crying to God, “be my everything.” Now, I have heard this song before, many times, but at this point, at this place, it really hit me, that I need God to “be my everything” in my life. With the future and the present being so uncertain for me, the thought of God in my life was an overwhelming realization to me and brought me into a, now multiple day, reflection time, which has been hard but extremely delightful.

I have been reflecting on the question of what does it mean for God to “be my everything?” I have not been getting cognitive or logical answers, but rather feelings, which for me is not always helpful, but in this case it was, because I know, rationally, what it means for God to be everything, but I don’t feel that, if I am really honest with myself, I wasn’t even asking the question, do I feel as though God is my everything and this was a tension in me that I didn’t even know was there.

It is funny how God shows up and is able to get directly to the center of your troubles. The image I get is of a doctor who knows exactly where the problem is and can go directly into your wound or weakness and begin to heal. Yes, there is pain, and yes it is not comfortable to feel so exposed, especially in a church, which you are visiting, but it is so good and honestly, who better than the God of the universe to do such a work.

The last month and a half has been very busy, very challenging, but also, the most rewarding time of my life. I have been able to do so much, most of, which, a year ago was merely a faint dream. With all of that happening, I became pretty tired and this trip to Manchester came at the right time. I went to visit my friend Richard, who I met two years ago at Connect (the CAI Staff Conference). Richard invited me up for a weekend and I accepted. We had a great time, touring around the country side, from Hale, to North Wales (Conwy, Betws-y-coed), stopping by Dunham Massey and a day in the Peak District hiking the plateau ridge there, with people from Richard’s church. It was an amazing weekend.

Some of the best times of the weekend were the conversation that Richard and I were able to have. Richard is a lawyer and we both love talking about politics, history, and theology, yes we are nerds, serious nerds. It was such a fun time. I am very grateful to Richard for his hospitality and generosity throughout the weekend. It truly, was the holiday I needed.

We ended the weekend by eating at a little restaurant that has particular significance, the name of the restaurant was “The Bells of Peover” and it was where General Patton would eat during his time in England. On more than one occasion Patton and Eisenhower would meet at this little restaurant deep in the English countryside. Next to the restaurant was a little church that had been built in 1296 and is still running! It was amazing to go in and see the church itself, equally amazing was to see how they had services and programs still running I was really touched by this sign of perseverance and faithfulness. What a way to end a weekend in England and what an encouragement it was to me to see a church that had not only survived 700 years, but was still going, if that’s not hope for the future I don’t know what is.

The other big news this past weekend was, at 5am on Sunday morning I got a call from my sister to announce that she was now engaged to her boyfriend Ben. I knew this was coming, but now that it is here I am so happy for them both. Truly, if there was a match made in heave this is it. Not that they are sunshine and lollipops all the time, but they fit each other so well. I can’t wait to see them married. The other surprise what the invitation to be part of the wedding service, this is a huge honor for me, I really can’t put into words what this means. It will be a highlight of my life, I am sure of that.

Coming back to The Netherlands, I came crashing back down to reality quite quickly from the restful high of the weekend away. Seminars that need to be planned, vision’s that need to be thought up and cast, and decisions that need to be made soon, but I was up lifted by the events of the past weekend I leave you today, with a message of hope. In our waking, in our sleeping, in our work, in our weddings, in our churches, God is there and God is our everything. This has been the lesson from the past week for me. I don’t mean to be cliché about this, because I believe this statement is so far from shallow that you can get. Saying God is our everything is an incredibly deep and broad statement that I think only God can show us how it is even possible.

Anyway, to stop the musing I hope you are all well, and it has been great to hear feedback about the blog, and to be able to speak with a few of you over the course of the week.

Take care,
Jason

Pray Requests:
1) Long-term: I was able to have a very good discussion with Nick Webb a member of the CAI European board. This helped to get a more objective opinion on my current situation and some good ideas about how I could fit into CAI Europe. Pray that the decision would become even more clear and that the details would fall into place.
2) Short-term: My sister’s wedding and marriage. My travel, to Sweden, Portugal, and Morocco. These are work related trips, which will help, if not, make the decision on where I end up for the next couple years here in Europe.
3) Personal: That I would be protected from myself and from anything that would hinder what God is doing here. I know the biggest thing I have been facing lately is my own fear of stepping out. That process has been draining, but extremely good, in that I have been acting out in ways that God has created me too.

This is real

20080929_IMG_0035, originally uploaded by cutjas.

Tuesday 3 February 2009

Hello everyone,

I don’t know how many of you played organized sports, but I did and loved it. I always found it funny that every game I play in there was this point in the game, usually a while into the competition where I would sort of stop and think, “I am in the game, this is for real.” It was an “ah ha” moment, where I realized this isn’t practice, nor am I on the bench, but this is for real and we only have a limited amount of time to accomplish our victory. This “ah ha” moment in the game was not a panic time, but for me it was a relaxing time. I am in the game, I was picked to be here, and I have something to bring. This moment in the game actually spurred me on to play better. Well this past week was one of those weeks. I realized that I am in the game.

First off, I want to get back to my basketball kids. We had our second practice after the Winter break and it was our best practice to date. It is so encouraging to see that the kids are getting it. I know for them it becomes more fun and it does the same for us as the coaches. We have one kid, Christoph, who is from Scotland and is becoming quite the jump shooter. Even though Christoph is about half the size of the ball itself, he is able to make his 10 foot shot pretty regularly. We also have a couple kids developing as leaders and helping the other kids figure out what is going on. Things were working really well last week and it was so encouraging.

The other piece is that we are able to teach these kids the lessons of life. Lesson’s that go beyond the sport field, the biggest lesson is paying attention. We have had to have talks with a few kids about paying attention to what we are instructing them to do. “If you want to play you have to pay attention or you won’t know what is going on.” This is a comment that we have had to use on several occasions and it is now starting to sink it. I am glad to see that the kids are beginning to take responsibility for their own learning. We can make it fun, and we can instruct, but like life, if you don’t put in the effort and pay attention then you will not get very far.

This is also, more important, when I hear about some of the home lives of a few of these kids. Most of them are internationals so they are not living in the native country and that is hard enough as a kid, but some have had parents divorced or separated. In these cases you want to comfort them and support them, and I view us teaching these lessons of taking responsibility as very helpful lessons for life. Lesson’s they may not be getting from their fathers. In some cases it goes directly against the example they have had from their fathers and hopefully this will have an impact on them, so they can say, “I don’t have to live like my dad did.” I know they are young, but these are very important lessons to learn and I am taking this time more serious everyday. I want these kids to have fun and enjoy basketball, but more I want them to learn the lessons that recreational activities have to teach us about life.

Ok, the funny story from the week of basketball. Keldon one of the older kids in the group, was shooting on a 20 foot basketball hoop. We normally work off of a 8 foot hoop, but some of the baskets in the gym were raised up. Anyway, Keldon was screaming, look at me, and then he would shoot and made a couple of baskets. One of these times, Keldon, screams (because kids don’t have normal voices, they scream), “Jason, Jason, look at me.” I look and he shoots and makes the basket. “Awesome!!” I say, and then I tell Keldon to come and make a basket on the 8 foot hoop. Keldon struts, yes struts over with this arrogant look, think oh I can do this, I just made a 20 foot basket. Keldon shoots, and KLANK, he missed. I told him, that maybe he should practice on the hoop we play on before he shoots on the hoops he will never play on. I don’t know if that advice sank it, as 5 min later he was back on the 20 foot hoop screaming again…haha, kids.

Looking back on this past week, I feel little opposite of Keldon. I feel as though I have been shooting on the 8 foot hoop for a long time and now I am shooting on the 10 foot hoop. The one we play on, the NBA hoop, in essence I am doing work for real. Its not school, its not training, this is real stuff.

The week for me started off with leading the International Justice Mission meeting on Tuesday, don’t get to impressed, all I did was make sure we started at 7:30 and end at 930, but this was an important meeting and talk about feeling like this is for real, this is. Trying to help out an organization like IJM is a great honor and I am more and more impressed by their organization the more I learn about it. In saying yes to leading this meeting I was completely in over my head. I am not a lawyer or a business man; I am a intern, at best an amateur theologian. I was leading a meeting of international lawyers, business people and other professionals. It was very humbling, but being the blockhead that I am I didn’t realize this until after when I reflecting on the meeting. During the meeting I am so focused on getting through the agenda and making sure we end on time. After I think about the people in the room and the lives we are trying to impact and that is where the weight of what we are doing really hits me. This is for real; there are accomplished international business people, international lawyers, people that are at the tops of their field and its time to play ball.

Next was the Strengths Finder Seminar I led on Saturday. I interned for two years with an organization called Leadership Vision, which used the Strengths Finder exam to help people start looking at their strengths in their life. We would work with churches, schools, and businesses. I saw how my bosses both lead seminar’s that changed how people thought about themselves and began to view themselves in a very positive and life changing way. I saw how teens, young adults, and people on the verge of retirement were able to answer the question, “am I doing what I was created to do?”

Well, now I was running the seminar. I was so worried that I would not be able to present the material in a way that would help and be beneficial to people. With a lot of help from my friend and former boss Mike, the seminar went great. I was able to present the material in a way that was accessible and helpful. More so, I have had comments and seen people begin to think about their lives in terms of “is this what I am created to do?” As I reflected on the seminar, I began to realize that this too is for real. Helping to figure out what they were created to do is serious business, you have the opportunity to greatly influence a person’s life and the direction it is going and that again, forced me to say, “its game time.”

I know it’s been almost 6 months into my internship and looking around I am in the game. I am excited to be here and see what I can and do contribute. All the while seeing how God is opening doors and has gifted me to help people in a way that gives myself and others life. Clearly, this week has been an “ah ha” week in that I am starting to see how the gifting God has given me can translate into real life change.

I hope no one is reading this and thinking that you have to do my work to bring real change that is not my intention at all. My intention in this blog is to update my week and share my reflections on my life. If was an accountant or a janitor I hope that I would have the same “ah ha” weeks from God to show me how my work makes a difference, but I am not, I am an intern in a church and this is how God is using me. I hope that this blog encourages all of you and blesses you as well. Thanks again to all that are supporting me and praying for me and bringing me out for lunch and coffee, it really does make a difference in my life. I hope that you all are sharing in the blessings I am receiving because if it wasn’t for you all, I would not be here doing what God has for me.

Groetjes, greeting, and many blessings,
Jason

Prayer Requests:
1) Future plans: Sweden, the Hague, I am still praying about my future here in Europe and trying to decided between Gothenburg Sweden and The Hague. Pray for clarity and calling.
2) Family: It is hard not to be around my family, we are able to talk on the phone and I am at peace about where I am, but still it’s hard not to be around family.
3) Health: I will be traveling a lot in the next 2 months; most work some just fun travel. I need to pray for my health, that I will remain healthy so that I can do the work in the places I am going and get enough rest when I have the chance.